Well, its been a few months since I last wrote. Let's just say, things have changed... A lot. I quit Ihop back in October and finally got a new job with Chick-fil-A that I started this month. While in that unemployment stage, the stress from lack of money (among other things) put a strain on my relationship with Andy. We haven't been doing so good these days. I'm hoping since I'm bringing money in now that things will ease up some. We love each other, but here lately we have definitely been getting on each other's nerves. I've always tried to place him first in my life, but I feel as if he doesn't do the same for me. Actually, let me rephrase that, I know he doesn't and I also know that I will never come first to him. Its almost as if here lately, I've let go of myself and lost who I am as a person in order to try to make him happier. I feel as if no matter what I do, it doesn't work. I want to be a great girlfriend, the best he's ever had, but with things as they are lately, I'd settle for decent. Besides, I can't do everything by myself. I need his help to make our relationship work. One minute, he and everything he does is perfect, the next its as if that person never existed. I feel like I'm holding on to what could have been if things had stayed the same after the first three months were over. It's been almost two years now, and ever since it has been one battle after another. Once he left for Valdosta, things changed between us and they haven't been the same since. Some days I just wish that I had known then how things would be now. However, had I known, would I have changed anything or would I still be in these same shoes? That's the thing, there is no way to know. No matter what I do or how hard I try, if we aren't meant to be then nothing I do will work. I will never stop loving him and although I won't be giving up on him, I'm almost ready to give up on "us." I honestly don't know what I should do.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Cassie and Josh said their vows today. It was beautiful. Afterwords, Andy asked Dad for my hand in marriage and received his blessing. I couldn't have been happier. I've been waiting (not-so patiently) for him to ask for quite a while now. That step is what I needed in order to prove to me that he is serious about us getting married. Now I'm going to be waiting even more impatiently for that next step... **bling bling** lol.